Stop writing as if you'll survive, be discovered, and understood.Don't pretend you have timeto not mean every word. Mean it. Every word. Or else make spreadsheets. Precious, clever lines won’t sound better later,or accrue in value, or change to gold from lead. Write like the dead. Syllable your last beat. You will not make it to the end of the page.You're already gone. What do you say, for your self?
I smell crawdad in mud-glow, fish-tang from a hidey-hole; zinc-y water-rot aroma, stink of joy to a barefoot boy, slipfinger boy in wet dungarees. Grab a blue shell, wave a snip-claw, mechanical claw, bend-back claw, to trim a trophy off curly thumb— but giddy drop and he becomes the clitta-clat king of the bucket.
goodbye to weight within; i am the helium beast, i rise, ugly as sin, clean as nimbus, to the mothering sky. i saw every color. i felt you tremble. how true my heart was, long ago, how reliable my tongue, before i knew bitter. all done, o best beloveds! my gifts, the psyilocybin syllable, and the blooded, holy words of sorrow, are delivered. the boy prospered, bless the skin of his teeth, and the propaganda of love, and the slow fuse of truth. light wants in, after all. I am so sorry. i stayed as long as i could. as long as it took. i rise, ugly as sin, clean as nimbus, to the mothering sky.
tear me out ruckety-luck send the children away sleep, sleepgive up on me slice, slice I'm bad, I'm wrong always, alwaysnothing holds me gone, gone I’m a flame, in glass fraud, fraudthere is a truth liar, liar I gave up long ago: damn, damn I wanted more slickety-trickthe bad, the wrong fade and fade hope will die die and dieand horror, grief always, alwaysbe good as your word and give, givebe better than me do more, morethe fail, and lie and lie and liewill not undo me not me, meI stayed my hand I stayed, stayedsoft as a peach I hold, holdI count for something six, fiveI measure up four, threenot infinitesimal two, one